Kat

You were my sister, friend; my whole world when we grew up before life got between us. We did everything we could to stay in touch. We were sisters more than friends. We squabbled at times but the majority of the time we shared our thoughts, movies, lives, and everything. I never held back from telling Kat whatever came to mind. Man I fucking miss you

I lost you to a fucking aneurysm and 3 surgeries that were supposed to help you be in a better situation and you fought until your body reached its max. Man when I think about that, It just makes me so mad. It was like the medical team did what they could to keep pushing for you to survive without thinking about your condition on whether or not it was ready for the next. The part that gets to me 100% is the fact that I couldn’t go see you during this time, we communicated through text because I was pregnant. I didn’t get to go to your funeral because of so many people and my condition. I know everyone said “It’s ok” and “Kat would have been upset if you showed”, but dude I still feel like the shittiest person to do that to you. The last conversation is embedded in my mind. You were so excited that I was pregnant and that you were going to spoil the shit out of it. Well here are some updates that may travel up the heavenly grapevine to you.

1. It’s a girl.
2. We were originally going to name her Candice after my aunt but we found that she wasn’t a Candice.
3. So far she’s pretty active. She’s even made a male nurse cry because she moved when he found the perfect shot of her heart during an ultrasound. 😬. I just can imagine you laughing out of loud saying “Damn she really is your kid. What a punk”
4. She dances at night and keeps me awake so those days of beauty sleep are out the window. 😂
5. I got her some clothes that I legit think you would totally approve of this little dress with duckies on it or the dinosaur body suit. Strawberry wannabe slip on Vans.
6. One of the nurses performing a second ultrasound was not to friendly. I do think she could sense that I was not too happy with the treatment, however when the nurse tried to jiggle my belly for the baby to turn around, I kid you not, the baby lifted her hand to wave her off and when the nurse attempted again she raised her hand and kept it there like she was flicking her off. I’m telling you shes one helluva kid so far

I will say that she will know who you are and the shenanigans we went through. Every damn detail to your nightly ritual of wiggling your toes before you knock out for the night. I plan to create a book with you and all the family members who are up in heaven with you. I hope you’re resting well! I wish you were with us and just being an amazing aunt! I know people say time heals everything but it’s been rough. I hope you’re watching over Nick. He hasn’t been responsive at all and I worry for him.

Rest in Paradise lil!